(Original Post: September 3, 2016)
As anticipation swirls around the next upcoming patch to overnight success Pokémon Go, Niantic has officially confirmed the most exciting and innovating of the game’s rumored new features – as of the application’s next regularly scheduled update, Pokémon Go will now contain “Fun”.
“We know we had Fun in the original version, but it was just so buggy, we had to take it out for a while,” Head Programmer Larry Oak confirmed to several online gaming blogs Thursday. “We’ve been tweaking the feature behind the scenes for quite a while now, though, and we believe we’ve finally worked out the kinks. As of the next Pokémon Go update, Fun will be back in the game again.”
While some are extremely optimistic about the upcoming re-addition, others continue to say that Pokémon Go has already seen and moved past its heyday.
“That jerk Vinny down the street keeps beating all the Pokémon I put in our school’s gym, and sticking in freaking 3000 CP Dragonites. 3000 CP DRAGONITES!” school kid Bugsby Pinscyther reported to Pokemon-Go-LOL.com earlier this morning. “Not everyone has rich parents that can let them buy Lucky Eggs from the App Store all the time. YOU HEAR THAT, VINNY? YOU MAY HAVE MONEY, BUT YOU’RE STILL A N00B IN MY BOOK! A N00B!”
Bugsby later added, “I like shorts. They are comfy and easy to wear.”
Whether or not the re-addition of Fun is everything Niantic is hoping to revitalize the Pokémon Go fanbase, most objective sources admit that directly responding to the needs of their players in this way is a good direction for the company.
“Many players have been directly complaining about the removal of Fun from Pokémon Go from almost the very beginning of the app’s life span.” Professor Blaine Firenflame observed on his own popular Pokémon gaming blog, ‘The Weekly Cinnabar Report’, “Re-adding Fun just as their fanbase begins to wane could be exactly what the game needs to lure in more players than ever before! By my calculations, we may see Team Valor grow into the millions, Team Mystic grow into the billions, and Team Instinct get its first member since… since… since, well, sometime in the middle of August, putting them well on their way to having a triple digit team size! Professor Willow may even have to get a new assistant to accommodate all the new players… anyone up for joining Team Volcano? Eh? Eh? What, no takers…?”
While the exact date that the Fun feature will return to Pokémon Go has not been officially announced, it is sure to be a welcome milestone in the life of this widely popular enhanced reality game. Unfortunately, this announcement has only given further encouragement to some disreputable users of the app. Many less scrupulous Pokémon Go users across the Internet have already announced their intentions to gain access to the area of the Pokémon Go servers connected to the Fun feature, creating online maps for others players to use in order to locate the placement and timing of Fun on the virtual Pokémon Go map of the area around them, in direct violation of the game’s Terms of Service.
“Until they create a way for us to quickly and easily locate Fun in a way that works best for Team Rock, I mean, Team Mystic, we will continue to take use whatever resources we have available to display the location of Fun to any player willing and able to gain an edge over their friends and neighbors using our website.” a very short, slightly furry-looking man very closely resembling a Meowth explained on an anonymous Youtube video as a male and female henchman in concealing trenchcoats snickered behind him. “That, and capture Pikachu. Those are our goals as three tried and true players of Pokémon Go’s illustrious Team Rock…mystic. Mystic. Team Mystic. Wait, what did I say?”
Since the posting of this article, Niantic has already banned the three odd players responsible for posting the YouTube video about Fun and Pikachus. In addition, they have confirmed a $25 US price tag to activate the “Fun” feature once downloaded into Pokémon Go via its next update. This purchase will activate Fun for 24 hours real time, before having to be repurchased at the in-game App Store with another $25 in Pokécoins. Apparently, “Fun” comes at a price, but Niantic assures you that you will always be able to avoid spending real world money on Pokécoins using the extremely-lucrative accumulation of Pokécoins from placing your Pokémon into gyms. In fact, as of the writing of this article, the author has himself accumulated almost 30 coins in this way, almost 1% of the cost of a Fun download! Questions were emailed to Niantic by “The Eye of Zatara” on the possibility of future features to help with the non-monetary acquisition of Pokécoins, but were deleted without being opened.