By: “The Watchman”
It’s that time again! Boba Fett aired this Wednesday, and I… couldn’t bring myself to talk about it for a few days. Clearly, I was stunned by this episode’s greatness. Let’s break it down. May the Force be with me, I’m going to put this episode on in the background while writing my review to get it fresh in my mind again.
[MOSTLY SPOILER FREE REVIEW]
This is a “Mostly Spoiler Free Review”, so I will talk about different elements of the show without discussing almost any specific plot points. This is a review for Episode 3, however, so there WILL be spoilers for previous episodes as we set the stage for what happened this week. If you are not caught up through Episode 2 before reading this review, you might want to do that first.
Episode 2 ended with Boba Fett celebrating with his band of Tusken Raiders after taking out the random sand train that was shooting them for no reason. It never made any sense that the train was going out of its way to attack local Tuskens who didn’t even seem to have noticed the train before being pelted with unprovoked blaster fire from a distance, since the Raiders didn’t seem to have any way to keep up with or fight back against the train without Boba’s help. (The Tuskens could shoot the aliens in the train, but only after the aliens opened the windows of the train to shoot at the Tuskens first.) It was fun and satisfying to watch the Raiders take out the train, but it never really made sense why any of this was happening in the first place. Tibanna gas for blasters isn’t free, nor are the lives of train personnel exposed to hostile fire for no reason.
Episode 3 starts out with Milton from “Office Space” (or Bill from “King of the Hill”, if you prefer) telling Boba Fett, “Well, with apologies, sir… no one respects you. […] It’s true.” Yes, it IS true, unfortunately. Everyone seems to blatantly insult and disrespect Boba Fett constantly in this show, and he just shrugs it off with a mild-mannered “Watch your tongue.” before doing literally nothing threatening to back up his half-hearted complaint. (Remember, that this man is supposed to be the shady king of a massive, planetary criminal empire.)
Like we saw in Episode 1 with the Gamorrean Guards, Boba Fett again recruits allies of questionable loyalty and talent in the beginning of this episode, which, like the Gamorreans, prove insanely useful and absolutely invaluable to his survival within a few scenes of him hiring them. Well, that’s convenient. Good thing they were much more useful than they seemed, and also completely 100% trustworthy. Otherwise, the series would be over, because Boba Fett nearly dies constantly in this show. He seems to lose a lot more one-on-one fights than he wins. A LOT more. (I guess the same could be said for his appearance in the original Star Wars movie trilogy, but he wasn’t a main character in the original trilogy like he is here…)
Without spoiling the plot of this episode any further, I’d really like to just say that this show, at least in Episode 3, has a LOT of good ideas. A lot of characters and situations they introduce are really interesting (on paper), with a lot of potential, but are just written and executed so poorly as to drain all excitement out of them. So many things happen which are unpredictable, but which make literally no sense at all if you stop to think about them. At the same time, many other plot beats occur which do make sense, but which are bland, boring, and telegraphed a mile away, robbing them of any sense of anticipation or joy.
This show is really establishing itself to be a bland show that wants so much to do cool things, but literally has no idea how to make them happen. It’s like a writer with writer’s block that knows that he wants to create a novel about something, has a great starting idea for it, but blanks out every time he puts pen to paper and just writes whatever. You may be able to get away with that in “The Mandalorian”, when you just can point at “The Child” doing something cute to distract the audience that your plot is sometimes a little shallow, but there is not a single character as genuinely heartwarming and sweet as Baby Yoda for this show to lean on in this way. As a result, the show just tries to do more, and everything it does is cliché.
This week’s episode is not as bad as the show’s premier, but not as good as last week’s episode, either. I honestly don’t know how much longer I can even continue to watch this show. I don’t look forward to it, and it is genuinely painful sometimes to watch. I paused this week’s episode several times to shout at the TV “What? Are you kidding me? That is so stupid!”, usually when some idiot kid with a motorcycle proved to be a loyal, experienced fighter on the tier of some of the best assassins and bounty hunters in the known galaxy. Is this really the best that Boba Fett can find to assemble a criminal empire with? If all his opponents are non-threats like the mayor’s secretary (Oh no! He might reschedule your meeting with the mayor this week! Such inconvenience! The monster!) and the do-nothing Hutt twins, then I guess street thugs, failed pig guards, and whoever else he adds to his little rejects menagerie next week might really be good enough to build an empire with.
The Mandalorian would not take half the crap that Boba Fett puts up with, and the Mandalorian is an honorable fighter living by a strict code. Whereas, again, Boba Fett is supposed to be a heartless bounty hunter only beginning to live by any real morality after nearly dying following his servitude to the repulsive Jabba the Hutt which included teaming up with the wicked Darth Vader and turning Han Solo into an ugly modern art piece. This version of Boba Fett wouldn’t freeze a mouse in carbonite without first giving it fifty chances first to say it was sorry for eating his cheese sandwich. Who wrote this crap? Oh, right, according to the credits, Jon Favreau wrote it himself.
That explains… so much.
Final Score: 5/10
“Another bland outing with lots of good ideas executed in the worst ways possible to rob them of all intelligence and emotion. Terrible writing continues to turn the most badass bounty hunter in the galaxy into a Mandalorian-armored Dr. Phil. I hope it doesn’t get a Season 2…”
Sorry if this review is really negative. Like I said in Episode 1’s review, I really wanted this show to be good, and I am very frustrated to have basically given up on it at this point. Now, I just want the show to be over so maybe a better The Mandalorian spinoff can take its place. (Bring back Kara Dune!) Still, I will try my best to be fair next week.