Tag: Valentine’s Day

(Original Post: February 24, 2017)

Westbury, New Jersey – Following their successful interaction on the recently launched “Technical Test” for Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon Wildlands, nineteen year old gamers Michael Markenson and Lila Peachtree, who each live on different sides of the small town of Westbury, New Jersey, have announced via social media today their transition into a new type of tactical co-operative endeavor, a real life dating sim they call an “Open Beta relationship”.

“I really didn’t expect this when I invited Lila, AKA GamerGirlBetterThanYou7, to party up with me, Mike, and my college buddy, Ramos, to take on the Santa Blanca Cartel in the Open Beta for Ghost Recon.” fellow Westbury, New Jersey gaming enthusiast John Blackwell, AKA xHedshotz4Daysx, announced via a comment on Instagram about the shocking local development this morning.  “I mean, I know they both live in Westbury, but I never really thought they’d hit it off like that.  I really just wanted to play Ghost Recon, but the two of them wouldn’t stop blabbing about saving the environment and wanting to open a pet shelter someday or something.  It was kind of distracting, honestly.  I got taken down by Unidad like five times because the two of them were too busy talking about how they both wanna see Paris some day to cover me when I went in with my MP5.  Honestly, I’m probably not going to invite them to my party tonight when I boot up the game again.”

When asked by friends and followers on Twitter about the details of their new relationship, Michael initially declined to further comment, but Lila stepped up fearlessly to offer just enough information to silence the gaggle of gossipers’ endless queries.

“Frankly, I just started talking with Michael, AKA 4c3Gunner111597, yesterday, and we aren’t even meeting in real life for the first time until tomorrow.” Lila explained, while customizing her character’s appearance on the Ghost Recon loadout menu.  “So, we’re going to keep our relationship in the Open Beta stage for now.  We’ll spend a week or two trying out some romantic features, and, if it looks like the Game of Love is something that’s going to be worth paying full price for, we’ll pre-order a full relationship right then and there.  Otherwise, we’ll just move on.  Things are looking good so far, though.  I’m not sure if I should be sharing this, but, last night after playing Ghost Recon, Michael called me and we spent several hours in Team Chat together on the phone, discussing strategies for the Game of Love, as well as other things.  Frankly, I’ve never had this kind of connection with someone before, so it feels like a real Achievement for me personally.”

“Being with Lila makes me feel like a new console.” Michael then added, spurred on by the boldness of his new girlfriend in talking about their new romance, and now ready to publicly throw in his two cents worth.  “I know our Open Beta relationship is going to need a lot of patches and updates to keep it running smoothly, and I’m going to need a lot of Free Space in my life to make room for all these changes.  We might get mad at each other, and have to shut down online functionality for an hour or two until we cool off.  And even once we’re in a full version relationship, we’ll probably have to sit down every three months and shell out a little more emotional capital to download something new into our game to keep things fresh and interesting.  Frankly, I think the Game of Love is worth it, however, and I’m willing to go so far as delete whatever other games and apps in my life try get in the way of our romantic simulation to ensure I have enough space in my heart for GamerGirlBetterThanYou7.”

After Lila responded to this comment with a winky face emoticon, Michael added a little more, before booting up his console to play Ghost Recon again until Lila gets off work at HighCostCo later this evening.

“Maybe it’s too early to say this, but I’ve always been a one console man.” Michael explained, as family and friends followed along nosily on his various social media feeds on the subject.  “And like an X-Box, I think Lila may just be the One for me.  As many other games and apps I used to fill my time before I met her, my hard drive just didn’t feel complete until the night I downloaded our relationship into my life.  No matter how other parties like Nintendo may try to seduce me to their side in the future, I just don’t think I’ll ever Switch.  I may have a lot of other Followers in my real life, but there will forever be only one girl in the Friends List of my heart.”

Michael and Lila’s mutual friend, John Blackwell, reportedly vomited a little in his mouth after reading Michael’s above posts in his Facebook Newsfeed, before unfriending him on all social avenues possible, and inviting two other high school friends to party up on Ghost Recon with him and his college buddy, Ramos, for the duration of the game’s Open Beta.  Michael and Lila, however, were too busy fawning over one another on social media to even notice.