[SATIRE] NCAA March Madness 2017 – The Official “Eye of Zatara” Brackets!

(Original Post: March 18, 2017)

In a developing story, “The Eye of Zatara” is now posting their official bracket selections below for the NCAA Men’s Basketball Championship apparently taking place starting this week at sports venues… well, I don’t know, somewhere?  I guess?  I don’t follow a lot of sports.  Still, these are definitely the best brackets in the whole entire world, and I spent at least five minutes making them last night.

We’ll follow up at the end of “March Madness” to see how I did.  Enjoy your basketballing and home run goals everyone!  I hope your favorite team wins the Stanley Cup or whatever!!!

(Click each of the images to load them full size.)

EAST DIVISION

Insert Sports Here
Bossa Nova and Baylor Swift in the “Elite Eight”

WEST DIVISION

Sports Are For Nerds!
Lady GonzaGaga and Magneto (Uh Oh…) in the Elite Eight

MIDWEST DIVISION

Go, Sports Team, Go! YEAH!
Kansas and Kansas in the Elite Eight

SOUTH DIVISION

Sports are Like Ports, But More Plural, Because There's Also an S at the Beginning of the Word.
1987 Cadillac and Kentucky in the Elite Eight

FINALS/SEMI-FINALS

I'm Out of Sports Jokes Now Please.
Obvious 2017 Championship Winner: Baylor Swift Over Kentucky in a Close Final Game

OVERALL BRACKETS (FULL SIZE)

Property of the Gatekeeper! No Trespassors! Posted!
Look at the Pretty Colors..

More to follow in the coming weeks.  Stay tuned here, at “The Eye of Zatara”, for all your sports and Men’s Basketball related news needs!

EDIT: (Sorry, that’s a total lie.)

~The Gatekeeper

[SATIRE] 2016 Brackets – An Objective Analysis

(Original Post: March 29, 2016)

2016 Brackets

(Click the image above to see a full size version.)

Now that we have reached the “Final Four” of this year’s NCAA tournament, the time for introspection begins. For that purpose, I present my brackets for this year. Here’s my big wins and losses:

*SOUTH: A lot of my First Round picks were correct, including Washington Court House High School J.V. (9) beating Colorado (8) and Guadalajara (11) beating Arizona (6). Unfortunately, my prediction that “Pete Rose Pinch Hits for Hawaii” would win this region sadly ended with their loss to Villanova. My “DOUBLE KO” scenario between Guadalajara and Miami (FL) in the second round also did not come to pass, with Miami (FL) winning that game instead.
Overall Prediction Accuracy: 47%

WEST: My biggest mistake came up right in Round 1 as my choice for region winner, “SUPER SAIYAN Donald Trump” was shutdown after 16th seed Donald Trump’s loss to 1st seed Kansas. The actual region winner, 2nd seed Oklahoma, won against my predictions against their Round 1 opponent, 15th seed Casey Station from Antarctica. This prevented the intervention of Dragon Ball Z’s Son Goku in the tournament, as was otherwise predicted by me during the Round 2 Kansas versus Casey Station game, eliminating the presence of Super Saiyans in March Madness this year.
Overall Prediction Accuracy: 27%

EAST: This one was also way off. My guess that Kentucky would face one of the five Kansas teams in the finals for this region was shot down both by Kentucky’s loss to Indiana in Round 2 (I expected Civil War battlefield team Chickamauga to defeat Indiana before losing to Kentucky) and Kansas’s loss to Wisconsin. North Carolina won the region to my surprise, although I did predict the Bralley F. Austin (14) versus East Virginia (3) upset, which is encouraging. If only Chickamauga had beaten Indiana…
Overall Prediction Accuracy: 33%

MIDWEST: Again, I predicted a fair amount of the upsets here. I called “AR… I’m a Pirate”‘s win against Purdue, Gonzaga’s defeat of Seton Hall, and Dayton Light Service’s win against Dayton. I never imagined Dayton Light Service would make it all the way to the Final Four, however. The big upset of Alderaan in Round 1 by 15th seed Malcolm in the Middle Tennessee threw off my brackets quite a lot, since I was expecting them to win the region before losing to one of the five Kansas teams, my predicted NCAA Tournament winner. On a personal note, I was sad to see that the Gonzaga versus Gonzaga State grudge match did not occur this year, despite only requiring Gonzaga State’s defeat of Utah to have occurred. I’m also not 100% sure if Iowa State beat Iowa or some strange team called “Iona”. I fear the typo on my brackets may have confused me enough to throw off my predictions. Is “Iona” a real thing?
Overall Prediction Accuracy: 27%

My Final Four:2016 Brackets - Final Four

Pete Rose Pinch Hits for Hawaii, SUPER SAIYAN Donald Trump, Kansas (East), Use the Force (Alderaan) – All Wrong

My Total Prediction Accuracy This Year (Including Final Games): 32% (About 1 in 3 Games Correct)